Family Circle Magazine always has wonderful lists of ideas for family time and quality living. In their Waiting to Exhale article in the August issue, they have a ist of how to build the best relationships with our kids. Topping the list, in the number one position is "Regularly scheduled quality time, including frequent sit-down meals. Make a point of going places together, even just for a walk."
I love that the TABLE message is making it into the main stream American view! Now, how do we all get back around the table? For 50% of American families who don't have this ritual now in place, it is a real challenge with all the demands on our lives. So, here is my list of how to get to the table and I would love to see you add to this list!
Solution Tools
1) Sit down and decide what is important to you for your family. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline and foresight to protect the family meal (Weinstein 225)
2) Commit to cooking. One person must make it their priority and ensure it happens. Of course everyone can pitch in, but one adult must own the commitment (Kaufman 1)
3) Create community. If you do not live by family, create family where you are. Invite neighbors over for a potluck; create a community garden; help the elderly and new mothers in your neighborhood by visiting them with a cup of tea; walk out your front door and develop a passion for place (Saavedra)
4)Find the time to eat together by making a consistent family meal the priority when creating the family schedule (Doherty/Carlson 156)
5) Incorporate a return to Sunday dinner or a week night potluck to incorporate friends and extended family into your family’s rich circle of ritual (Saavedra)
6)Be flexible and start from where you are. Maybe breakfast works better for the main family meal then dinner (Doherty/Carlson 154)
7) Don’t use meal time to discipline or grill your children, except for light directions on good manners keep the gathering a safe place to relax (Doherty/Carlson 156)
8)Craft a special environment even for normal meals. Light a candle, eat outside, or use a special table cloth (Doherty/Carlson 42)
9)Have the children help prepare the meal and clean up afterwards (Doherty/Carlson 43)
10)Have conversation starters in mind to stimulate relaxing conversation (Doherty/Carlson 42)
11)Do menu planning and weekend preparation of food to help reduce stress (Kesten 43)
12)When taking nutritional breaks at work or play, enjoy the company of others (Kesten 30)
13)Make celebrations soulful. Create a theme, ethnic menu, or different locations to eat meals in your home (Kesten 43)
14)Have a planned late afternoon snack and schedule dinner later in the evening (Fiese 35)
15)Family meals allow a time to teach children what foods are available with the seasons and how to eat them (Wood 48)
16)Eighty percent of success in life comes from just showing up, whether you feel like it today or not (Doherty/Carlson 43)
17)Start your family’s schedule-planning with a family meal. Then, choose carefully what is added around that schedule and ensure your family activities are reflecting your family values (Saavedra)
Here are the other 9 ideas Family Circle recommends for growing closer to your kids:
2) Accept half the blame in any disagreement.
3) Don't jump to conclusions.
4) Learn to slow down and listen to what she is saying.
5) Avoid raising your voice when you talk. Make eye contact.
6) Do something nice for your child for no reason.
7) Show lots of warmth and affection.
8) Praise more and criticize less.
9) Nurture your child's independence and decision-making skills by encouraging her to try new things.
10) Ask for what she needs from you and be open to responding positively if her request is reasonable.
~ Come Gather Around The Table!
Photo credit to BHG
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